Feed aggregator
Uganda drops military trial as opposition leader’s health falters
Kizza Besigye has grown 'critically ill' during hunger strike against imprisonment, his lawyer says.
Categories: South Asia
Syrian man who stopped Austria knife attack describes ordeal
A Syrian delivery driver who helped halt a deadly stabbing rampage in Austria by driving his car into the attacker
Categories: South Asia
It is not Trump that betrayed Ukraine
Those who set it on a path to full-scale war with Russia did.
Categories: South Asia
Israel plans 1,000-unit expansion for occupied West Bank settlement: NGO
Settlements in the territory, pushed by Israeli hardliners, are viewed as a major obstacle to peace.
Categories: South Asia
Russia, US officials to meet in Saudi Arabia for Ukraine talks
European leaders meet in Paris amid concerns over US President Donald Trump's push for bilateral talks with Russia.
Categories: South Asia
Palestinian boy injured as Israel continues raids across West Bank
A 13-year-old boy was injured by bullet shrapnel outside a school as Israeli forces raided Nablus.
Categories: South Asia
ICC Champions Trophy 2025: India-Pakistan and two other matches to watch
In addition to the India-Pakistan clash on February 23, Australia meet England, and Afghanistan play their debut match.
Categories: South Asia
Afghanistan’s Taliban makes debut diplomatic trip to Japan
Delegation says Taliban seeks 'dignified' global interaction as it builds 'strong' and 'developed' Afghanistan.
Categories: South Asia
China’s Xi hosts summit with business leaders, including Alibaba’s Jack Ma
Chinese leader meets corporate leaders amid economic challenges including slowing down and high youth unemployment.
Categories: South Asia
Drone footage shows destruction of north Gaza after 500 days of war
New drone footage from northern Gaza shows entire neighbourhoods reduced to rubble after 500 days of Israel’s war.
Categories: South Asia
South Korea removes DeepSeek from app stores pending privacy review
Personal Information Protection Commission says Chinese start-up accepted proposal to suspend downloads of AI chatbot.
Categories: South Asia
‘No more silence’: Israelis face Gaza war backlash on Sri Lanka’s beaches
For years, relations between residents and Israeli visitors were cordial, but cracks in this dynamic are now visible.
Categories: South Asia
Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events – day 1,089
Here are the key developments on the 1,089th day of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine.
Categories: South Asia
US drops wording saying it does not support Taiwan independence
US State Department plays down changes as 'routine' update after Taipei welcomes 'positive and friendly' wording.
Categories: South Asia
Trump says he could meet Putin ‘soon’ as Ukraine, Europe reel from outreach
UK Prime Minister says he is prepared to supply British troops for post-war peacekeeping force in Ukraine.
Categories: South Asia
Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science’
The thorny question of whether or not the UK government was really following the science has been solved by this year’s Nobel Laureates.
Johnson and Hancock’s valuable research over the last 18 months hypothesised what would happen if senior members of a government told everyone they were following the science but, in fact, were ‘not following the science at all.’
A spokesperson for the Nobel medicine Committee said the UK team’s ‘doing the exact opposite’ research project allowed us to make sense for the first time the government thinking behind such policies as:
– The ‘delay in taking any action whatsoever’ strategy
– The ‘not stopping flights coming to the UK from Wuhan until the day before the Chinese locked down the city; strategy
– The ‘Boris Johnson still shaking hands despite warnings from the Spi-behavioural group’ strategy
– The ‘let’s go for herd immunity’ strategy
– The ‘don’t bother with facemasks’ strategy
– The ‘we’re not listening to the WHO’ strategy
– The ;send PPE to China even though we might need it’ strategy
– The ‘abandoning the idea of a circuit-break lockdown’ strategy
– The ‘let massive sporting events with massive crowds go ahead’ strategy
The spokesperson also praised the Johnson & Hancock team for investigating what caused some cabinet ministers such as Rishi Sunak to go completely rogue, although they didn’t have time to come to any firm conclusions. He set up his EAT OUT TO HELP OUT strategy without asking any scientists or any advice whatsoever.
‘This is understandable as it would have detracted from the already excellent hypothesis that the team had on their main subject’, said the spokseperson. ‘However, they’ve not ruled out further explorations into the ‘I’m a minister, I’ll do what I f*cking well want if it means getting the cash tills of business ringing,’ strategy.’
Categories: Fake News
Fears for life expectancy in Scotland triggered by Scottish Widows getting so much younger
Population forecasters are tinkling in their tighty whities. The clearest indication yet that life expectancy in Scotland is plummeting has sent shockwaves through the back of a fag packet totter community.
Experts in looking at women and assessing their relative ages examined Scottish Widows adverts over the past few decades and have declared that they are definitely getting younger. Professor Iain James explained, ‘We went back all of the way to the the 1980s and had a stab at guessing the ages of each Scottish Widow smirking knowingly in her black hooded cape.
‘What we found was shocking. Firstly, there was not one wrinkly old Scottish Widow with missing teeth in her 70s. There was one who might have been in her late forties, but her skin was as smooth as a plump haggis and her perfect white teeth glistened in the Glasgow rain.
‘But I’m afraid it gets much sexier. You can see that every few years each one is replaced with a younger model: Early forties; then late thirties; and by the 2010s she is early thirties, tops.
‘In the latest Scottish Widows advert she looks about 23. That can’t mean anything else other than the men they were married to are dying much, much younger than we had previously dared consider.
‘At these rates, we estimate the population of Scotland will be -17 in 2041.’
Categories: Fake News
Random story generator deployed at The Sun
It has long been suspected that articles at tabloid papers have been cobbled together by interns with a drink problem. But the reality is far worse. Anonymous sources have received a copy of a crib sheet that sub-editors can use to churn out stories on demand by simply highlighting options with a yellow marker pen. You too can become a Sun journalist for a day. Here is the current crib sheet for Tuesdays:
A three bedroom house in [Powys / Nottingham / Middlesborough] could be bought for a little as [£32000 / £33000 / £34000] – but there’s a chilling secret.
Its close proximity to [a rubbish dump / foreign undesirables / outside privy] means [there are more rats than cats / the air is filled with the smell of bad food / the garden is full of shit].
[Stacey Simpson / Keeley Stevens / Olivia Hardwick], 29, condemned prospective purchasers by setting their ambitions too low. The [hairdresser / TikTok influencer / nail bar assistant] from Harpenden managed to pay off her £450,000 mortgage two years ago by working [three jobs / as a Cam Girl / the streets], and has little respect for scroungers who want to slum it at the bottom end of the housing market. Boyfriend and window fitter Darren agrees and says “I’d rather vote Labour than live in a shit-hole like that. These people need to find some [self-respect / old dear to fleece / mastic] and start voting for Boris.â€
We asked former editor Kelvin McKenzie to comment on the crib sheet, but he simply referred us to Carol Vorderman who [sent us a smouldering selfie / revealed her plunging cleavage / delights her fans with her amazing youthful figure] and told us to behave and watch out for her every Friday.
Categories: Fake News
