Feed aggregator
The rise of global boycotts against Israel’s genocide in Gaza
From streets to supermarkets, global boycotts for Gaza have grown as a fragile ceasefire holds for now.
Categories: South Asia
Freeman, Dodgers win Game 3 against Toronto, take MLB World Series lead
Los Angeles Dodgers outlast Toronto Blue Jays after Freddie Freeman's 18th inning home run clinches a 2-1 series lead.
Categories: South Asia
Brazil’s ex-president Bolsonaro appeals 27-year sentence for attempted coup
The sentence handed to the far-right politician last month has become a major issue in Brazil-US relations.
Categories: South Asia
Supporters celebrate Ivory Coast president’s massive election victory
Supporters of Ivory Coast President Alassane Ouattara celebrated after officials announced his secured fourth term.
Categories: South Asia
Venezuela suspends Trinidad and Tobago gas accord over US warship visit
Caracas asserts that US actions in the Caribbean are a military threat and are meant to steal its oil and gas wealth.
Categories: South Asia
Hurricane Melissa live: ‘Storm of the century’ closes in on Jamaica
Category 5 storm is predicted to be the most destructive storm on record to hit the Caribbean island.
Categories: South Asia
FIFA adds 1 million World Cup tickets for sale in second phase
Tickets are being made available via an early draw that allows host countries a domestic exclusivity time slot.
Categories: South Asia
Jamaica braces for Hurricane Melissa, island’s strongest storm on record
Officials urge people to stay indoors as Category 5 storm bears down on Caribbean nation.
Categories: South Asia
Jamaica braces for Hurricane Melissa, island’s strongest storm on record
Officials urge people to stay indoors as Category 5 storm bears down on Caribbean nation.
Categories: South Asia
LIVE: Israel accuses Hamas of ‘violation’ over return of captive remains
Israeli drone attack close to the southern city of Khan Younis kills at least 2 people despite ceasefire.
Categories: South Asia
LIVE: Israeli attack kills 2 in Gaza as Hamas returns body of captive
Israeli drone attack close to the southern city of Khan Younis kills at least 2 people despite ceasefire.
Categories: South Asia
Is the Insurrection Act the ‘most dangerous law’ in the United States?
President Trump says he may resort to the Act to ‘get around’ court orders blocking deployment of the National Guard.
Categories: South Asia
Is the Insurrection Act the ‘most dangerous law’ in the United States?
President Trump says he may resort to the Act to ‘get around’ court orders blocking deployment of the National Guard.
Categories: South Asia
Bangladesh expats win means to vote – could they sway the next election?
They have had the right to vote for some time, but no system was established to allow them to take part in elections. Â
Categories: South Asia
Bangladesh expats win means to vote – could they sway the next election?
They have had the right to vote for some time, but no system was established to allow them to take part in elections. Â
Categories: South Asia
Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science’
The thorny question of whether or not the UK government was really following the science has been solved by this year’s Nobel Laureates.
Johnson and Hancock’s valuable research over the last 18 months hypothesised what would happen if senior members of a government told everyone they were following the science but, in fact, were ‘not following the science at all.’
A spokesperson for the Nobel medicine Committee said the UK team’s ‘doing the exact opposite’ research project allowed us to make sense for the first time the government thinking behind such policies as:
– The ‘delay in taking any action whatsoever’ strategy
– The ‘not stopping flights coming to the UK from Wuhan until the day before the Chinese locked down the city; strategy
– The ‘Boris Johnson still shaking hands despite warnings from the Spi-behavioural group’ strategy
– The ‘let’s go for herd immunity’ strategy
– The ‘don’t bother with facemasks’ strategy
– The ‘we’re not listening to the WHO’ strategy
– The ;send PPE to China even though we might need it’ strategy
– The ‘abandoning the idea of a circuit-break lockdown’ strategy
– The ‘let massive sporting events with massive crowds go ahead’ strategy
The spokesperson also praised the Johnson & Hancock team for investigating what caused some cabinet ministers such as Rishi Sunak to go completely rogue, although they didn’t have time to come to any firm conclusions. He set up his EAT OUT TO HELP OUT strategy without asking any scientists or any advice whatsoever.
‘This is understandable as it would have detracted from the already excellent hypothesis that the team had on their main subject’, said the spokseperson. ‘However, they’ve not ruled out further explorations into the ‘I’m a minister, I’ll do what I f*cking well want if it means getting the cash tills of business ringing,’ strategy.’
Categories: Fake News
Fears for life expectancy in Scotland triggered by Scottish Widows getting so much younger
Population forecasters are tinkling in their tighty whities. The clearest indication yet that life expectancy in Scotland is plummeting has sent shockwaves through the back of a fag packet totter community.
Experts in looking at women and assessing their relative ages examined Scottish Widows adverts over the past few decades and have declared that they are definitely getting younger. Professor Iain James explained, ‘We went back all of the way to the the 1980s and had a stab at guessing the ages of each Scottish Widow smirking knowingly in her black hooded cape.
‘What we found was shocking. Firstly, there was not one wrinkly old Scottish Widow with missing teeth in her 70s. There was one who might have been in her late forties, but her skin was as smooth as a plump haggis and her perfect white teeth glistened in the Glasgow rain.
‘But I’m afraid it gets much sexier. You can see that every few years each one is replaced with a younger model: Early forties; then late thirties; and by the 2010s she is early thirties, tops.
‘In the latest Scottish Widows advert she looks about 23. That can’t mean anything else other than the men they were married to are dying much, much younger than we had previously dared consider.
‘At these rates, we estimate the population of Scotland will be -17 in 2041.’
Categories: Fake News
Random story generator deployed at The Sun
It has long been suspected that articles at tabloid papers have been cobbled together by interns with a drink problem. But the reality is far worse. Anonymous sources have received a copy of a crib sheet that sub-editors can use to churn out stories on demand by simply highlighting options with a yellow marker pen. You too can become a Sun journalist for a day. Here is the current crib sheet for Tuesdays:
A three bedroom house in [Powys / Nottingham / Middlesborough] could be bought for a little as [£32000 / £33000 / £34000] – but there’s a chilling secret.
Its close proximity to [a rubbish dump / foreign undesirables / outside privy] means [there are more rats than cats / the air is filled with the smell of bad food / the garden is full of shit].
[Stacey Simpson / Keeley Stevens / Olivia Hardwick], 29, condemned prospective purchasers by setting their ambitions too low. The [hairdresser / TikTok influencer / nail bar assistant] from Harpenden managed to pay off her £450,000 mortgage two years ago by working [three jobs / as a Cam Girl / the streets], and has little respect for scroungers who want to slum it at the bottom end of the housing market. Boyfriend and window fitter Darren agrees and says “I’d rather vote Labour than live in a shit-hole like that. These people need to find some [self-respect / old dear to fleece / mastic] and start voting for Boris.â€
We asked former editor Kelvin McKenzie to comment on the crib sheet, but he simply referred us to Carol Vorderman who [sent us a smouldering selfie / revealed her plunging cleavage / delights her fans with her amazing youthful figure] and told us to behave and watch out for her every Friday.
Categories: Fake News
