The Sack Suit

The sack suit, or business suit, (or, in Britain, the "lounge suit") was leisure wear for men who might wear a frock coat, and the best clothes of vast majority of American men. A banker would wear a sack suit to a picnic, and a cowboy or farmer would wear it to church.

It first came into fashion in the 1850s as a very large, baggy garment, and then became more fitted in the '60s and beyond. It evolved into the modern three piece suit.

Its popularity was assured by the fact that it could be purchased, ready made, at prices working men could afford

To the left is a summer sack suit, of white linen or lightweight wool, with a straw hat. Linen sack suits tended to be baggier than wool ones. Click on the image to see a larger view.

Note that one often sees straw hats worn with dark, winter weight wool suits as well, as the 19th Century gentleman's only concession to summer heat.

The most common colors were black or gray, and the pieces usually, but not always, matched. They could be almost any color though, and plaid was particularly popular.

The coat usually had four buttons, the top one of which was generally buttoned--the rest left undone.

The gentleman on the right is breaking the rule of matching trousers and upper garments, and is in fact wearing the striped gray tousers which one is supposed to wear with a morning or frock suit. Since he is also wearing a white tie, he may be a member of a wedding party, and this is his way of "dressing up" his ordinary sack suit, or maybe he is a just an American and doesn't worry too much about "the rules".

Note the splendid tall crowned bowler hat (typical of the late '70s and 1880s), the watch chain attached to one of the top vest buttons, the vest cut straight across the waist, and the bone, wood or gutta-percha (gavinized rubber) buttons. On frock or morning coats, the buttons were usually covered in silk or other fabric, while they were usually uncovered on sack suits.

Click on the image for a larger view.

View images of Sack Suits

The Frock Suit

The frock coat was single or double breasted, usually black, bottom hem above the knee, and distinguished by a squared shape at the bottom front. Its companion, the morning coat was single breasted and has a rounded, swallow tail shape. Both were referred to as "morning" dress, to distinguish them from evening dress. Both were worn with top hats. In the South and West however, top hats were often replaced by broad brimmed, low crowned hats for everyday frock suit wear. Garish colorful vests, often of patterned Chinese silk, were still common with frock suits through the early '60s, but were replaced by black, white or gray by the '70s. The same applied to ties. Colorful cravats were often seen with Frocks in the '60s, but by the '70s most, but not all, had been replaced by small black bow ties.

In the 1850s and 60s, it was common for those wearing black frock coats to wear black trousers. from the '60s on, it became more fashionable to wear charcoal gray trousers, often pin striped.

"The morning dress for gentlemen is a black frock coat, or a black cut-away, white or black vest, according to the season, gray or colored pants, plaid or stripes according to the fashion, a high silk stove pipe hat, and a black scarf or necktie. A black frock coat with black pants is not considered a good combination.. The morning dress is suitable for garden parties, Sundays, social teas, informal calls, morning calls and receptions."
"Our Deportment" 1879

"At afternoon funerals, wear a frock coat and top hat. Should the funeral be your own, the hat may be dispensed with."
The Cynic's Rules of Conduct. 1905

Key elements of a Frock Suit (Click on the image for a larger view):

* Small black bow tie. Colorful ties are seldom seen with frock suits after the 1860s.
* Black wool vest (it might well have been colorful silk in the 1860s) This one is double breasted, but it could just as easily have been single breasted.
* Watch chain. This one is made of braided hair.
* Shirt cuffs visible at the wrist.
* Winged shirt collar on a white shirt. Something similar can be purchased at any modern tux shop. Note that a colorful shirt is never worn with a frock suit. It is always white.

View images of Frock Suits

The Morning Suit

In the early 1880s, a compromise was made between the, by then, rigid formality of the Frock Suit and the laid back informality of the Sack Suit. The result was the Morning Suit.

This suit retained the gray, striped trousers and black vest and coat of the Frock Suit, but softened the lines a bit by rounding the bottom hem of the coat and shrinking the lapels.

Further, unlike the frock suit for which a top hat was essential (at least in town), the Morning Suit allowed a certain amount of latitude in headgear, with top hats for business and formal calls, and a tall crowned bowler for less dressy occasions. There was also more latitude with neck wear than with a Frock Suit, with Windsor ties more common than bow ties.

The Morning Suit could be worn at weddings, funerals, calls of ceremony, teas and other daytime formal occasions. It could also be worn for business, but the Frock Coat still reigned supreme with the management in the office. The Sack Suit or Morning Suit was suitable for more junior staff and clerks.

Evening Wear

Gentleman's evening wear changed hardly at all from around 1860 until the 1920s. It was a unvarying uniform of black tail coat, white bow tie, black or white vest (there seems to have been some personal latitude in selecting a vest--black being the most common) and black trousers, with a white, heavily starched shirt. The only thing that changed was the collar, which became tall and stiff around 1890.

Outdoors, evening wear would be worn with a silk top hat and a black cape or overcoat.

White gloves were an essential accessory, especially when dancing, as touching a lady with bare hands was not only a bit crude, but one's sweat could soil her gown.

"A gentleman retains his 'walking' or 'morning' attire until six or seven o'clock when he dresses for the evening"
"Everybody's Book" 1893

"The evening or full dress suit for gentlemen is a black dress-suit--a 'swallow tail' coat, the vest cut low, the cravat white, and kid gloves of the palest hue or white. The shirt front should be white and plain; the studs and cuff buttons simple. Especial attention should be given to the hair, which should be neither short nor long. It is better to err on the too short side, as too long hair savors of affectation, destroys the shape of the physiognomy, and has a touch of vulgarity about it. Evening dress is the same for a large dinner party, a ball or an opera. In some circles, however, evening dress is considered to be an affectation, and it is well to do as others do. On Sunday, morning dress is worn, and on that day of the week no gentleman is expected to appear in evening dress, either at church, at home or away from home. Gloves are dispensed with at dinner parties, and pale colors [of gloves] are preferred to white for evening wear."
"Our Deportment" 1882

(Note: you can click on either of these photographs for a larger view)

"The attire in which a gentleman can present himself in a ball room admits of so little variety, that it can be described in a few words.

He must wear a black dress coat, black trousers and a black vest, and a black or white necktie and kid gloves, and patent leather pumps.

This is imperative, the ball suit should be of the very best cloth and of the latest style as to cut. The vest should be cut low, so as to disclose an ample shirt front. Small gold or diamond studs may be used with effect. Much display of jewelry is a proof of bad taste. A handsome watch chain with perhaps the addition of a few costly trifles suspended to it, and a set of shirt studs, are the only adornments of this kind that a gentleman should wear. Perfume should only be used for the handkerchief, and should be of the very best and most delicate character."
"Prof. M. J. Koncen's quadrille call book and ball-room guide" 1883

"When a gentleman is invited out for the evening, he is under no embarrassment as to what he shall wear. He has not to sit down and consider whether he shall wear blue or pink, or whether the Joneses will notice if he wear the same attire three times running. Fashion has ordained for him that he shall always be attired in a black dress suit in the evening, only allowing him a white waistcoat as an occasional relief to his toilette. His necktie must be white or light colored. An excess of jewelry is to be avoided but he may wear gold or diamond studs, and a watch chain. He may also wear a flower in his buttonhole, for this is one of the few allowable devices by which he may brighten his attire.

Plain and simple as the dress is, it is a sure test of a gentlemanly appearance. The man who dines in evening dress every night of his life looks easy and natural in it, whereas the man who takes to it late in life generally succeeds in looking like a waiter."
The Ball Room Guide. 1860

Informal Attire

The vast majority of American men did not even wear sack suits for every day attire.

Farmers, laborers, ranchers, factory workers and such usually wore a outfit of sturdy wool, corduroy or denim trousers, a wool flannel, linen or cotton pull over shirt, a hat and sturdy shoes. Suspenders were commonly worn, though they were unpopular with men who had to bend or squat a lot, like sailors, cowboys or miners. Trousers did not have belt loops until the 20th Century.

The fellow on the left is a farmer around 1890-though he could just as easily have been from 1860. His collar button is buttoned. Unbuttoned collars are rarely seen. Click on the image for a larger view

The daily wear of working men also frequently made use of second hand or worn out pieces of sack, frock or morning suits. Vests were also frequently worn.

The man on the left in the picture on the right is wearing a cotton duck or denim bib apron, a common garment with blacksmiths or others doing particularly dirty work.

The substantial fellow next to him is typical of a western farmer or rancher, in his colorful shirt (red, blue or checked were the most common), smashed hat and (it would appear), neckerchief. His trousers may have been black dress pants in a former life.

Collars and Ties

The man on the left is wearing the ever popular black string bow tie, made from a black silk ribbon, about an inch high and a yard long. This image is probably from the 1870s.

The fellow on the right has no tie, but his collar is closed with a stud. Men without ties are very common in 19th Century American photos -- sometimes with heavily starched shirts, nice suits and all the paraphernalia of proper attire. This is an interesting phenomenon that attests to a general lack of a standard of what constituted "proper attire" in 19th Century America. This image probably dates from the 1880s. Also of note is his rather limp and ungroomed mustache, which contrasts sharply with the wonderfully sculpted facial hair on the next gent in this series.

The fellow on the left, with his splendid mustache may be my favorite image from this collection. He is wearing a Windsor tie with a nice big symmetrical knot and a tie pin stuck through at the proper place. Of particular interest (if you can stop looking at his mustache for a moment) is his collar, which is very low and banded. It looks like it is, in fact, the neck band of the shirt, which could take a detachable collar, but no such collar is attached. This image most probably dates from the 1880s, judging from his generally well-groomed look.

There is an interesting progression in men's styles. In the 1860s, almost every man in America looks like they slept in their clothes, and even major government officials appear in rumpled and stained clothing with unkempt stringy hair - and vests invariably have two or three buttons unbuttoned. About 1870, there is a change and men's styles become more and more about looking tidy and well groomed. Hair becomes shorter and nicely combed and oiled, facial hair becomes less effusive and more trimmed, vests get fully buttoned and clothing becomes better fitted and crisper. This continues until the turn of the Century, when collars become tall and stiff and clothing becomes so well fitted as to be quite constraining.

On the right side, this fine looking young man from the 1890s is wearing a Windsor tie, in patterned silk, tucked into one side after a fashion that seems to have been popular in the US in the late 19th Century (I have seen several examples of it). No tie pin is visible.

His collar is the winged style often called "Patricide", based on a fictitious story that a young man returned from university wearing the new style starched collar (new in the 1850s). When his father embraced him, the points on the collar cut his father's throat.

This, of course, never happened but the story was enough to name the collar. This style was frequently worn with frock suits, morning suits and evening wear (he seems to be wearing a morning suit). It was less often worn with sack suits.

Stiff collars were usually removable, so they could be washed and starched apart from the shirt, and thrown away when they became worn, while the shirt could remain in service for many years.

Removable collars were usually made of linen. Disposable paper and then celluloid collars came on the market at the end of the 19th Century.

The Shirt

This is a men's dress shirt with a small standing collar. It is typical of men's shirts of the second half of the 19th Century. It is difficult to date this shirt exactly, but it probably comes from the late 19th or early 20th Century and is probably French.

It is a pull over, with three small bone buttons on a placket front. It is long, and comes down to the wearer's knees.

The cuffs close with cuff links.

It is cut full, though not so full as shirts of the 18th Century. It is made of white cotton.

The shirt is gathered into the yolk in delicate pin tucks. The red smudge at the bottom of the placket is an embroidered laundry mark of the owner's initials.

I would note that commercially available reproduction shirts differ from this original in a few important ways. First, I have yet to see a repro that is anything like long enough (men's shirts were often their only underwear), repros nearly always have buttons that are way too big, and repros are often cut too full, and lack the well-fitted subtlety of the originals.

Click on the pictures for a larger view.

The Vest

The vest was an essential part of a gentleman's wardrobe in the 19th Century. It was only ever dispensed with by men doing hard manual labor--though they often sported one as well.

In the 1840s to the 1860s, colorful vests, often of patterned Chinese silk were popular, especially in the South and the West. They are now associated with gamblers, but they had a wider appeal in their time. Gamblers were the last to give them up.

From the 1870s on, vests tended to be black or white for wear with frock coats, morning coats or evening dress coats, which of course, were also black by that time. When worn with a sack suit, they would be of a color to match the suit. Evening vests were cut low to show off the shirt. In the 1860s, the day vest was also often fairly low cut with a broad shawl collar. From the 1870s, the day vest would tend to be fairly high cut and have a small, notched lapel.

There are a few points of difference between 20th Century vests and 19th Century vests. 19th Century vests usually (though not always) had lapels, either in a shawl or notched style. They also nearly always had a lower hem that was parallel to the ground, rather than the modern vest which tapers downward in front.

These are some photographs of a late 19th Century day vest in my collection. Click on the images for a larger view.

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Deportment

"Awkwardness of attitude betrays a want of good home training and physical culture. A man should not lounge in a chair, nurse his leg, caress his foot crossed over his knee or bite his nails. A gentleman is allowed more freedom than a lady. He may sit cross-legged if he wish, but should not sit with his knees far apart, nor with his foot on his knee. In indicating an object, move the whole hand, or the head, but never point the finger. All should be quiet and graceful, either in their sitting or standing position."
Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture, 1886

"A good manner is the best letter of recommendation among strangers. Civility, refinement and gentleness are passports to hearts and homes, while awkwardness, coarseness and gruffness are met with locked doors and closed hearts".
Our Deportment. 1881

"Never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails, or worse of all, pick your nose in company; all these things are disgusting. Spit as little as possible and never upon the floor.

If you are going into the presence of ladies, beware of onions, spirits and tobacco."
The Art of Good Behavior. 1845

"It is a great thing to be able to walk like a gentleman--that is, to get rid of that awkward, lounging, swinging gate of a clown and stop before you reach the affected and flippant step of the dandy. In short, nothing but being a gentleman can give you the air and step of one"
Martine's Handbook. 1866

"A gentleman never sits in the house with his hat on in the presence of ladies for a single moment. Indeed, so strong is the force of habit that a gentleman will quite unconsciously remove his hat on entering a parlor, or drawing room, even if there is no one present but himself. People who sit in the house with their hats on are to be suspected of having spent most of their time in bar rooms and similar places"
Martine's Handbook 1866

"...one must advance or thrust forward the chest or sternum, by drawing back the tops of the shoulders, taking care to keep them down; and at the same time holding the arms a little forward, so that the hands may be in a line with the foreside of the thighs. The head is to be held back in a becoming manner, but without stiffness; and the chin kept down, but not so as to give the figure an air of constraint"

Greeting

"To a casual acquaintance you may bow without speaking; but to those with whom you are well acquainted greater cordiality is due. A bow should always be returned; even to an enemy it is courtesy to return his recognition."
"Hill's Manual of Forms" 1873

"Between gentlemen, an inclination of the head, a gesture of the hand, or a mere touching of the hat is sufficient; but in bowing to a lady, the hat must be lifted from the head."

"The body is not bent at all in bowing; the inclination of the head is all that is necessary"
Our Deportment 1881

"In meeting a lady it is optional with her whether she shall pause to speak. If the gentleman has anything to say to her, he should not stop her, but turn around and walk in her company until he has said what he has to say, when he may leave her with a bow and a lift of the hat."
Our Deportment, 1881

"One should always recognize lady acquaintances in the street, either by bowing or words of greeting, a gentleman lifting his hat. If they stop to speak, it is not obligatory to shake hands. Shaking hands [between a lady and gentleman] is not forbidden, but in most cases it is to be avoided in public."
Our Deportment, 1881

"If...you have been introduced to a person whose acquaintance you do not desire, you may merely make the formal bow of etiquette when you meet him, which, of itself, encourages no familiarity; but the bow is indispensible, for he cannot be thought a gentleman who would pass another with a vacant stare, after having been formally presented to him...
What is called 'cutting' another is never practiced by gentlemen or ladies, except in some extraordinary instances of bad conduct on the part of the individual thus sacrificed"
Martine's Handbook, 1866

Calling

"Calling" was a somewhat ritualized version of the fine old American custom of "visiting". It was not nearly so important for the gentleman as it was for the lady. It generally fell upon the middle class lady to do what had to be done to hold "Society" together. Even if the gentleman was doing the calling, it was generally the lady who was receiving callers. Ladies did not call on gentlemen except on matters of business. Gentleman called on one another with little ceremony.

"If you are thrown amongst fashionable people, you must not pay a visit to a lady before two o'clock PM, nor after four, as if you call before that time, you will interrupt those avocations which more or less occupy every lady in the early part of the day: if later than four o'clock, you will prevent her driving out"

Hints on Etiquette, 1836

"[Calls]..are those of ceremony, friendship and condolence, and occupy no small portion of time.

Such visits are necessary, in order to maintain good feelings between members of society...

...Professional men, are not however, expected to pay such visits, because their time is preoccupied; but they form almost the only exception"
Martine's Handbook, 1866

"If your friend or acquaintance is [away] from home, leave a card...the servant will answer your inquiry and receive your card; but on no account ask leave to go in and rest; neither urge your wish if you fancy the lady whom you desire to see is really at home or even if you flatter yourself that she would make an exception in your favor. Some people think that the form of words 'not at home' is readily understood to mean that the master or mistress of the house have no wish to see even his or her most intimate acquaintances."
Martine's Handbook, 1866

"A gentleman when making a formal call should retain his hat and gloves in his hands on entering the room. The hat should not be laid upon the table or stand, unless it is found necessary from some cause to set it down. In that case, place it upon the floor. An umbrella should be left in the hall. In an informal call, the hat, gloves, overcoat and cane may be left in the hall."
Our Deportment, 1881

"When one moves into a new neighborhood, it is the place of the neighbors to extend the hand of welcome to the strangers. The ladies should call on Mrs. A, the newcomer, just as soon as they think she is settled. And the gentleman should make it a point to get acquainted Mr. A, if not by a call, by speaking to him in the drug store or where ever they may meet...

Where a woman makes calls in the afternoon, it is always cheery for the hostess to offer a cup of tea with crackers or cake...It does not seem necessary to have visiting cards. In a small place everyone knows who everyone is, and while it is all right to have them, still they are oftener not used than used. The name of the caller is left by saying "Tell Mr. A that Mr. B called; nothing important".

NOTE: I included this as it is a rare glimpse (rare at least for etiquette books) at what the vast majority of Americans were doing. It was placed in the book to contrast country manners with city manners. These, of course, are country manners.
Correct Social Usage, 1903

"Besides leaving a card, leave all the small articles of value that you may find lying about in the dressing room"
The Cynic's Rules of Conduct, 1905

Calling Cards for Gentlemen

"To the unrefined and underbred, the visiting card is but a trifling bit of paper; but to the cultured disciple of social law, it conveys a subtle and unmistakable intelligence. Its texture, style of engraving, and even the hour of its leaving combine to place the stranger, whose name it bears, in a pleasant or a disagreeable attitude..." Our Deportment, 1881

Visiting cards, or calling cards, were an essential accessory to any 19th Century middle class lady or gentleman. They served as tangible evidence of meeting social obligations, as well as a streamlined letter of introduction. They also served as an aid to memories which were no stronger then than they are today. The stack of cards in the card tray in the hall was a handy catalog of exactly who had called and whose calls might need to be returned. They did smack of affectation however, and were not generally used among country folk or working class Americans. Business cards on the other hand, were widespread among men and women of all classes with a business to promote. There was a rigid distinction between business and visiting cards, and it was considered to be in very poor taste to use a business card when making a social call. A business card, left with the servants, could imply that you had called to collect a bill.

The basic gentleman's card. It could even be hand written if his penmanship was good. A military man's card. The "USA" stands for United States Army. An officer could also list his unit (e.g. "8th US Infantry") or ship. Army lieutenants and Naval officers under the rank of lieutenant would not put their rank in front of their names, but put it in small type in the lower left corner (e.g. "Lieutenant, USA", or "Master, USN"). A business card. It is made so by the name of his firm under his name. A physician's card. This is, in fact, the card of a female doctor, but is identical in form to that of a man. Doctors, lawyers, clergymen and military officers needed only one card for both business and social obligations, and included their titles on the card. The address is optional on all forms of card.

"Callers should always be provided with cards. A gentleman should carry them loose in a convenient pocket; but a lady may use a card case. No matter how many members of the family you call upon, you send in but one card. Where servants are not kept, and you are met at the door by the lady herself, of course there is no use for a card. If you call upon a friend who has a visitor, send in but one card; but if they are not at home, leave a card for each" "Calls of pure ceremony are sometimes made by simply handing in a card" "When a stranger arrives in the city, he should send his card, with directions, to those whom he expects to call upon him. Otherwise his presence might remain for some time unknown. If a stranger of your own profession comes to the city, you should call upon him even though you do not know him." "A card may be made to serve the purpose of a call. It may be sent in an envelope, or left in person. In the latter case, one corner should be turned down if for the lady of the house. Fold the card in the middle if you wish to indicate that the call is on several, or all of the members of the family. Leave a card for each guest, should any be visiting at the house" "A card enclosed in an envelope for the purpose of returning a call made in person, expresses a desire that visiting between the parties be ended. When such is not the intention, cards should not be enclosed in an envelope." "The cards of unmarried and married men should be small [about 1.25" by 3"]. For married persons a medium size is in better taste than a large card. The engraving in simple writing is preferred, and without flourishes. Printed letters, large or small, are very commonplace, no matter what the type may be. The "Mr." before the name should be dispensed with by young men" All the above quotes come from "Rules of Etiquette & Home Culture", 1882 A trade card. Cards like this would be handed to potential customers, left lying about in conspicuous places, and distributed to private residences in the same manner as calling cards. "A man never carries or leaves the cards of any other man, nor can he assume any of the responsibilities or etiquette relating to the cards of any of his feminine relatives or friends. Men never presumed to crease or bend their cards,when such habits were in fashion, and they do not do so today." Correct Social Usage, 1903

Calling Cards for Ladies

A married lady with teen-age daughters. Tuesday is the day upon which she is "at home" to callers. Note that her husband is named "Ingram", not she.

The card of a lady married to a doctor. Married ladies included their husband's name and titles on their cards. They would not use their own first name unless they were widows. Widows would keep the "Mrs".

The card of an unmarried woman.

A card shared by more than one unmarried daughter

The flowery style of card of which the etiquette books disapproved. Note the hand written name (in pencil) of the owner. The card is larger than the plainer, more tasteful variety. While generally condemned by etiquette books such cards must have been quite popular, as many have survived.

The Etiquette of the Ballroom

Ladies and gentlemen were on their best behavior in the ballroom. Manners were more formal, clothing was finer, and bows were deeper.

Men were expected to be extremely active in the ballroom to make up for the total passivity required of ladies; who could not ask gentlemen to dance, and who could not even be seen to cross the dance floor unescorted. Ladies would be conveyed to their station by a gentleman, and there they would wait until another gentleman came to speak to them, ask them to dance or convey them to the punchbowl.

"The gentleman should call for the lady whom he is to escort, go with her to the ball, escort her to the dressing room, return to join her there when she is ready to go to the reception room... engage her company for the first dance, and escort her to supper when she is ready to go. He must watch and see that she has a partner for dancing through the entire evening. Upon reaching home, if the lady invites him in, he must decline. It is his duty to call in two days".

"A gentleman should always walk around a lady's train and never attempt to step over it. If by accident he should tread upon her dress, he should beg her pardon, and if by greater awkwardness he should tear it, he must offer to escort her to the dressing room so that it may be repaired. If in the ball room a lady asks any favor of a gentleman, such as to inquire if her carriage is waiting, he should under no circumstances refuse her requests... well bred gentleman will look after those who are unsought and neglected in the dance".

Rules for the Ballroom

A man who knows how to dance, and refuses to do so, should absent himself from a ball.

Noisy talking and boisterous laughter in a ballroom are contrary to the rules of etiquette.

In a ballroom, never forget nor confuse your engagements. If such should occur, an apology, of course, must be offered and pleasantly accepted.

Always wear white gloves in a ballroom. Very light shades are admissible.

Usually a married couple do not dance together in society, but it is a sign of unusual attention for a husband to dance with his wife, and he may do so if he wishes.

Great care should be taken by a lady in refusing to dance with a gentleman. After refusing, she should not accept another invitation for the same dance.

"When gentleman are introduced to ladies at a ball for the purpose of dancing, upon meeting afterward, they should wait to be recognized before speaking; but they are at liberty to recall themselves by lifting their hats in passing. An introduction for dancing does not constitute a speaking acquaintance"

[Editor's note: ladies and gentlemen could not dance unless they had been introduced, so the hosts and escort spent much of the evening rushing about making introductions]

All the above quotes are from "Rules of Etiquette & Home Culture" 1886

Table Manners

What's Wrong With This Picture?

* He has no jacket at the table.
* He's reading a newspaper.
* He must be a bad father.

The picture is captioned "The home where table etiquette is ignored rears the ill-bred child" from "Correct Social Usage" 1903

No where was a man's breeding or lack thereof more on display than at the table. While some rules seem a bit quaint, most 19th Century table manners would not be out of place today. People still don't like it when you slurp your soup, or spray food when you talk.

"Nothing indicates a well bred man more than a proper mode of eating. A man may pass muster by dressing well, and may sustain himself tolerably in conversation; but if he be not perfectly "au fait", dinner will betray him."
Hints on etiquette 1836

Manners aside, all was not well at the American table. Numerous commentators noted the absence of the husband from the domestic table, American's refusal to carry on friendly conversation while eating, and a tendency to eat rapidly and get the job of eating over as soon as possible. It was little wonder that dyspepsia (indigestion) was considered an epidemic among American men.

A Few Rules

* Do not play with the table utensils or crumble the bread.
* Do not put your elbows on the table, or sit too far back, or lounge
* Do not talk loud or boisterously
* Be cheerful in conduct or conversation
* Never, if possible, cough or sneeze at the table.
* Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
* Do not talk when the mouth is full
* Never make a noise while eating
* Do not open the mouth while chewing, but keep the lips closed. It is not necessary to show people how you masticate your food.
* Never indicate that you notice anything unpleasant in the food.
* Do not break your bread into the soup, nor mix with gravy. It is bad taste to mix food on the plate.
* Never leave the table before the rest of the family or guests, without asking the host or hostess to excuse you.
* Eat soup with the side of the spoon, without noise.
* The fork is used to convey the food to the mouth, except when a spoon is necessary for liquids.
* Raw oysters are eaten with a fork.
* If you wish to be served with more tea or coffee, place your spoon in your saucer.
* Tea or coffee should never be poured into the saucer to cool, but sipped from the cup.
* If a dish is presented to you, serve yourself first and then pass it on.

Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture, 1886

* Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your whiskers
* Never wear gloves at the table, unless your hands are for some special reason unfit to be seen.
* Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force upon them delicacies which they decline.
* Never make a great display when removing hair, insects or other disagreeable things from your food. Place them quietly under the edge of your plate.

Hill's Forms

* Eat Cheese with a fork, not a knife
* Ask a servant in a low tone for what you want
* Break your bread, do not cut it.
* Eat fruit with silver knives and forks
* If you prefer, take up asparagus with the fingers. Olives and artichokes are always so eaten
* If a course is set before you that you do not wish, do not touch it.
* It is not your business to reprove the waiter for improper conduct; that belongs to your host.
* A gentleman must help a lady whom he has escorted to the table, to all she wishes; but it is improper for him to offer to help other ladies who have escorts
* Use a napkin only for your mouth. Never use it for your nose, face or forehead.
* It is very rude to pick your teeth at the table. If it becomes necessary to do so, hold your napkin over your mouth.

Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture, 1886

"At a sign from the hostess, the ladies all rise from the table, and repairing to the drawing-room, leave the gentlemen to their own devices. But it is a healthy sign that the gentlemen soon follow them. In France the gentlemen and ladies all leave the dinner table together, as indeed they do here, at an informal or family dinner."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891

"In America, with the exception of dancing, which is almost wholly confined to the unmarried of both sexes, all the enjoyments of the men are found in the absence of women. They dine, they play cards, they have musical meetings, they have suppers, all in large parties, but without women"
Fanny Trollope, Domestic Manners of the Americans.1832

"The company remained a very little while at table, and spoke scarcely a word. They really did not give themselves time to eat their food properly, but bolted it burning hot and not half-chewed, although nobody had anything to do when the meal was over. They seem to have got into the habit of regarding every thing as business, and therefore to be performed with the utmost possible dispatch"
A Lady's Journey Round the World, Ida Pfeiffer, 1855

In the Presence of Ladies

"Chesterfield says, 'Civility is particularly due to all women; and, remember, that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours; nay, even a little is allowable with women; and a man may, without weakness, tell a woman she is either handsomer or wiser than she is'"
Martine's Handbook, 1866

"When entering a crowded streetcar, a lady should leave the door open. It is quite permissible for her to appropriate the seat of the man who gets up to close it"
The Cynic's Rules of Conduct, 1905

"A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing, or from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction. When the service is performed, he will raise his hat, bow and pass on."
Hill's Forms, 1873

"In passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open for the lady, even though he never saw her before. he also precedes the lady in ascending stairs, and allows her to precede him in descending."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891

"Do not press before a lady at a theater or a concert. Always yield to her, if practicable, your seat and place. Do no sit when she is standing, without offering her your place. Consult not only your own ease, but also the comfort of those around you."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"It is not deemed polite and respectful to smoke in the presence of ladies, even though they are amiable enough to permit it."
Martine's Handbook, 1866

"If you meet a lady of your acquaintance in the street, it is her part to notice you first, unless, indeed you are very intimate. The reason is, if you bow to a lady first, she may not choose to acknowledge you, and there is no remedy; but if she bow to you--you as a gentleman cannot cut her."
Hints on Etiquette, 1836

"A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise his hat gracefully..."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891

Should one demand the surrender of a seat to a lady in a crowded theater?
"To this, we would answer that, if the gallantry of the gentlemen thus situated does not prompt them to proffer the seats in question, it is rudeness to request it. A lady is a lady, it is true; but if she could not come early enough to get a good seat, she cannot expect that spectators who did should inconvenience themselves for her sake"
Gody's Ladies Book, Jan 1850

"...remember also that really well bred women will not thank you for making them conspicuous by over officiousness in their defense, unless, indeed, there be any serious or glaring violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are both able and willing to take care of themselves, and would prefer being allowed to overwhelm the unlucky offender in their own way"

The Code of the West

The American West, with its loosely organized communities of strangers, its scarcity of women and its mixing of people from all over the world, produced its own behavioral norms which, while they had their roots in Victorian America, also had their own unique character.

One of the most striking features was the Westerner's obsession with minding his own business.

Given the dubious backgrounds of many of the people who had felt compelled to leave everything behind and move out West, it became a particular point of etiquette to leave people alone and never pester them with questions about where they came from, what they were called or what they did before they left "the States".

"We ate dinner and then I joined my older brother in asking the stranger what his name was. 'Jones is the name' he said. As soon as he rode off, our mother laid us boys out for being so ill mannered as to ask any man his name".
Quoted in the Time Life Book "Cowboys"

"In the western states, I do not think that I was ever addressed first by an American sitting next to me at table. Indeed I never held any conversation at a public table in the West. I have sat in the same room with men for hours, and have not had a word spoken to me. I have done my very best to break through this ice, and have always failed. A Western American is not a talking man. He will sit for hours over a stove with his cigar in his mouth, and his hat over his eyes, chewing his cud of reflection. A dozen will sit together in the same way and there will not be a dozen words spoken between them in an hour".
Anthony Trollope, North America. 1863

"This was the first time I had ever found myself in a large party of Americans, and, as in the gambling houses of San Francisco, the first thing that struck me was the strange contrasts in their dress. The ladies were all in a grand state, and might have gone into any full-dressed parties without changing their traveling costume (the author is on a riverboat on the Sacramento); but the case was widely different with the gentlemen. Some few were well dressed, but the majority wore jackets, often torn ones, dirty boots pulled up over their trousers, and had hands so extraordinarily coarse and burned--even the best dressed gentlemen among them--that they looked as if they belonged to the commonest plowman.

The company passed the time in playing cards and chewing tobacco, without excepting even the boys of ten and twelve years old; but they did not spit about at the dreadful rate described by many travelers. They had another practice, however, if possible more abominable--namely, though they carried a pocket handkerchief, of making use of their fingers instead of it.

I actually saw this atrocity committed by quite elegantly dressed men.

If, however, these points fell grievously short, in another they maintained without any exception the character of gentlemen.

The men, one and all, showed the utmost attention and politeness to our sex. Old or young, rich or poor, well or ill-dressed, every woman was treated with respect and kindness; and in this the Americans are far in advance of my countrymen [the Austrians] and indeed, Europeans in general, who usually keep their civilities for youth, beauty, and fine clothes."
A Lady's Journey Round the World, Ida Pfeiffer, 1855

Say what was your name in the States?
Was it Johnson or Thompson or Bates?
Did you murder your wife and flee for your life?
Say what was your name in the States?

Did you have to change your name?
Was it Miller or Benton or James?
Did you spend time in jail or ride on a rail?
Say what was your name in the States?
A song of the Gold Rush, by "Anonymous"

Foreign Observations

Foreigners often had some interesting things to say about American manners that help put the words of the etiquette books into perspective. Here are a few of them, followed by a rebuttal from the redoubtable "Dame Shirley".

"...in democracies, no such thing as a regular code of good breeding can be laid down...In aristocracies, the rules of propriety impose the same demeanor on everyone; they make all the members of the same class appear alike...Amongst a democratic people, manners are neither so tutored nor so uniform, but they are frequently more sincere...Thus it may be said, in one sense, that the effect of democracy is not exactly to give men any particular manners, but to prevent them from having any manners at all"
Alexis deTocqueville. Democracy in America 1835

"Any man's son may become the equal of any other man's son, and the consciousness of that is certainly a spur to exertion; on the other hand, it is also a spur to that coarse familiarity, untempered by any shadow of respect, which is assumed by the grossest and the lowest in their intercourse with the highest and most refined."
Fanny Trollope, Domestic Manners of the Americans, 1832

"The moral sense [of the American] is on every point blunter than with us [the English]. Make an American believe that his next door neighbor is a very worthless fellow, then I dare say (if he were sure he could make nothing by him) he would drop his acquaintance; but as to what constitutes a worthless fellow; people differ on opposite sides of the Atlantic..."
Fanny Trollope, Domestic Manners of the Americans.

"We labor under great disadvantages in the judgment of foreigners. Our peculiar political institutions and the prevalence of common schools give all our people an arrogant assurance that is mistaken for the American beau ideal of a gentleman.

They are unable to distinguish those nice shades of manner which as effectually separate the clown from the gentleman with us, as do...broader lines, which mark these two classes among all other nations. They think that it is the grand characteristic of Columbia's children to be prejudiced, opinionated, selfish, avaricious and unjust. It is vain to tell them that such are not specimens of American gentlemen. They will answer "They call themselves gentlemen, and you receive them in your houses as such". It is utterly impossible for foreigners to thoroughly comprehend and make due allowance for that want of delicacy, and that vulgar "I'm as good as you are" spirit, which is, it must be confessed, peculiar to the lower classes of our people, and which would lead the majority of them to--

Enter a palace with their old felt hat on
To address the King with the title of Mister
And ask him the price of the throne he sat on."

Humor - From an unfinished burlesque on books of etiquette by Mark Twain

(The absurdity of many etiquette books in trying to regulate every aspect of human behavior did not escape humorists of the time--including Samuel Clemmons).

At a Fire

Form of Tender of Rescue from Strange Young Gentleman to Strange Young Lady at a Fire.

Although through the fiat of a cruel fate, I have been debarred the gracious privilege of your acquaintance, permit me, Miss [here insert name if known], the inestimable honor of offering you the aid of a true and loyal arm against the fiery doom which now o'ershadows you with its crimson wing [this form to be memorized, and practiced in private]

Should she accept, the young gentleman would offer his arm--bowing, and observing "Permit me"--and so escort her to the fire escape and deposit her in it (being careful, if she have no clothes but her night dress, not to seem to notice the irregularity). No form of leave-taking is permissible, further than a formal bow, accompanied by a barely perceptible smile of deferential gratitude for the favor which the young lady has accorded--this smile to be completed at the moment the fire escape starts to slide down, then the features to be recomposed instantly.

A compulsory introduction at a fire is not binding upon the young lady. The young gentleman cannot require recognition at her hands when he next meets her, but must leave her unembarrassed to decide for herself whether she will continue the acquaintanceship or ignore it.

To return to the fire. If the boarding house is not provided with a fire escape, the young gentleman will use such other means of rescue as circumstances will afford. But he will not need to change the form of his proffer of assistance; for the speech has been purposely formed in such a way as to apply with equal felicity to all methods of rescue from fire. If egress may be had to the street by the stairway, the young gentleman will offer his arm and escort the young lady down; if retreat in that direction is cut off by fire, he will escort her to the floor above and lower her to the street by a rope, fastening it by slip noose under her armpits, with the knot behind (at the same time bowing and saying "Permit me"); or if no rope be procurable, he will drop her from the balcony upon soft substances provided by the populace below--always observing "Permit me", and accompanying the remark with a slight inclination of the head. In either ascending or descending the stairs, the young gentleman shall walk beside the young lady, if the stairs are wide enough to allow it; otherwise he must precede her. In no case must he follow her. This is de rigueur.

Mem. In rescuing the chambermaid, presentation of a card is not necessary, neither should one say "Permit me". The form of tender of service should also be changed. Example:

Form of Tender of Rescue from Young Gentleman to Chambermaid at a Fire

There is no occasion for alarm, Mary [insertion of surname not permissible]; keep cool, do everything just as I tell you, and, D.V., I will save you.

Anything more elaborate than this, as to diction and sentiment, would be in exceedingly bad taste, in the case of a chambermaid. Yet at the same time, brusqueries are to be avoided. Such expressions as "Come, git!" should never fall from the lips of a true gentleman at a fire. No, not even addressed to the humblest domestic. Brevity is well; but even brevity cannot justify vulgarity.

In assisting at a fire in a boarding house, the true gentleman will always save the young ladies first--making no distinction in favor of personal attractions, or social eminence, or pecuniary prominence--but taking them as they come, and firing them out with as much celerity as shall be consistent with decorum. There are exceptions, of course, to all rules; the exceptions to this one are:

Partiality, in the matter of rescue, to be shown to:

1. Fiancees.
2. Persons toward whom the operator feels a tender sentiment, but has not yet declared himself.
3. Sisters
4. Stepsisters
5. Nieces
6. First Cousins
7. Cripples
8. Second Cousins
9. Invalids
10. Young lady relations by marriage
11. Third cousins, and young lady friends of the family
12. The unclassified

Parties belonging to these twelve divisions should be saved in the order in which they are named.

The operator must keep himself utterly calm, and his line of procedure constantly in mind; otherwise the confusion around him will be almost sure to betray him to very embarrassing breaches of etiquette. Where this is much smoke, it is often quite difficult to distinguish between new Relatives by Marriage and Unclassified Young Ladies; wherefore it is provided that if the operator, in cases of this sort, shall rescue a No. 12 when he should have rescued a No. 10, it is not requisite that he carry the No. 12 back again, but that he leave her where she is without remark, and go and fetch out No. 10. An apology to No 10 is not imperative; still it is good form to offer it. It my be deferred, however, one day--but no longer.[In a case of this nature which occurred during the first day of the Chicago fire, where the operator saved a No.7, when a No. 6 was present but overlooked in the smoke, it was held by competent authorities, that the postponement of the apology for the extraordinary term of three days was justified, it being considered that the one day term during which the apology must be offered means the day after the fire, and therefore does not begin until the fire is out. This decision was sustained by several Illinois courts though which it was carried; and experts are confident that it will also be sustained, eventually, in the Supreme Court of the United States--where it still lingers].

To return to the fire.

Observe: 1's, 3's, 4's and 5's may be carried out of the burning house, in the operator's arms--permission being first asked, and granted; 7's and 9's may be carried out without the formality of asking permission; the other grades may not be carried out, except they themselves take the initiative, and signify, by word or manner, the desire to partake of this attention.

Form for Requesting Permission to Carry a No. 1, 3, 4 or 5, out of a Boarding House Which is On Fire.

The bonds of [here insert "tenderness" in the case of a No. 1; or "blood" in other cases] which enfold us in their silken tie, warrant me, my dear [here insert given name, in all cases; and without prefix], in offering to you the refuge of my arms in fleeing the fiery doom which now, with crimson wing, o'ershadows us.

In cases where a member of one of the prohibited grades signifies a desire to be carried out of the fire, response should be made in the following form--accompanied by a peculiarly profound obeisance:

Form of Response to Indication on the part of a 2, 6, 8, 10, 11 or 12 that she Desires to be Carried Out of a Fire in the Arms of Young Gentleman.

In view of the circumstances, Madmosselle [insert name only in cases where the party is a 6 or an 8--be careful about this], that but fragile and conventional [here-in case of a No. 2--insert "Alas!"] are the bonds which enfold us in their silken tie, it is with deepest sense of the signal distinction which your condescension has conferred upon me, that I convey to you the refuge of my arms in fleeing the fiery doom which now, with crimson wing, o'ershadows us.

Other material in the boarding house is to be rescued in the following order:

13. Babies
14. Children under 10 years of age.
15. Young widows
16. Young married females
17. Elderly married ditto.
18. Elderly widows.
19. Clergymen.
20. Boarders in general.
21. Female domestics.
22. Male ditto.
23. Landlady.
24. Landlord.
25. Firemen.
26. Furniture.
27. Mothers in law.

Arbitrary introductions, made under fire, to 12s through the necessity of carrying them out of the conflagration, are not binding. It rests with the young lady to renew the acquaintanceship or let it drop. If she shall desire the renewal, she may so signify by postal card; by intimation conveyed through a friend or family; or by simple recognition of operator, by smile and slight inclination of head, the first time she meets him after the fire. In the resulting conversation the young gentleman must strictly refrain from introducing the subject of fire, or indeed of combustibles of any kind, lest he may seem to conceive and remember that he has lately done a heroic action, or at least an action meriting complementary acknowledgment; whereas, on the contrary, he should studiedly seem to have forgotten the circumstance, until the young lady shall herself--if she so please--refer to it; in which case he will bow repeatedly, smiling continuously, and accompanying each bow with the observation (uttered in a soft, apparently embarrassed, yet gratified voice) "'m very glad, 'm sure, 'm very glad, 'm sure".

Offers of marriage to parties who are being carried out from a boarding house on fire are considered to be in questionable taste, for the reason that the subject of the proposition is not likely to mistress of her best judgment at so alarming and confusing a time, and therefore it may chance that she is taken at a disadvantage. Indeed, the most authoritative canons of high breeding limit such offers inflexibly to cases where the respondent is a No. 2. In these instances, the following form should be observed:

Form of Offer of Marriage from Young Gentleman to a No. 2, during Process of Extracting Her from Boarding House on Fire, and Conveying Her out of Same in His Arms.

Ah, I supplicate, I beseech, I implore thee, dearest [here insert given name of party only], to have compassion upon thy poor kneeling henchman [do not attempt to kneel--this is but a figure of speech] and deign to be his! Deign to engender into bonds of tenderness those bonds of chill conventionality which enfold us in their silken tie, and he will ever bless the day thou didst accept the refuge of his arms in fleeing the fiery doom which now, with crimson wing, o'ershadows us.

Enough has been said, now, as to the conduct which a young gentleman of culture and breeding should observe in the case of a boarding house on fire. The same rules apply, with but slight variations (which will suggest themselves to the operator), to fire in a church, private house, hotel, railway train, or on shipboard--indeed to all fires in the ordinary walks of life.

The speeches to be used at a fire may also, with but slight alteration, be wielded with effect upon disastrous occasions of other sorts. For instance, in tendering rescue from destruction by hurricane, or earthquake, or runaway team, or railway collision (where no conflagration ensues), the operator should merely substitute "fatal doom" for "fiery doom"; and in cases of ordinary shipwreck or other methods of drowning, he should say "watery doom". No other alterations are necessary, for the "crimson wing" applies to all calamities of a majestic sort, and is a phrase of exceeding finish and felicity.

Observe, in conclusion: Offers of marriage, during episode of runaway team, are to be avoided. A lady is sufficiently embarrassed at such a time; any act tending to add to this embarrassment is opposed to good taste, and therefore reprehensible.

Vice

"I have never allowed my duty as a gentleman to interfere with my pleasure in the slightest degree"
Oscar Wilde, "The Importance of Being Earnest"

Simply because a book condemned a practice did not mean that the practice ceased immediately after the book hit the stands. It was precisely because people were committing sins, large and small, that authors felt compelled to advise against them--usually with little effect.

19th Century American men were men, and were not significantly more virtuous than men before or since--despite the preaching of moralists and etiquette writers. The following page discusses a few of the Victorian gentleman's sins and, when applicable, describes some means whereby they may be properly committed. This includes the rules to several popular card games of 19th Century America.

"A man doesn't think he had a good time unless he has a headache the next morning"

"The hardest part about the 'next morning' is not the headache; it's the effort to recall what particular story you told your wife the night before"

"A man seldom escapes temptation because he is so careful not to let any interesting temptations escape him"

"It must be awful to live with a man after you have reformed him and he has become so superlatively good that you don't feel superior to him anymore"

"College boys are addicted to cigarettes and flirtations, bachelors to cigars and sweethearts; it takes a married man to get real joy out of anything so economical as a pipe or a wife"
Reflections of a Bachelor Girl, 1909

"Many are the resorts open to youth who seek amusement outside the family circle. Brilliant lights, music, exhibitions, games of chance and skill, and delightful beverages are fascinations hard to be resisted, but danger lurks beneath these attractions...

Social pleasures, carried to excess, expose young men and women to danger of moral corruption and physical disorders. The feast, the dance, the social glass, immoderately indulged in, with late hours and evil associates, have often wrought ruin to the pure and good".
Hill's Forms, 1873

"Sometimes people get a habit of spitting--which they do with much noise as though it gave them an air of importance. The inhabitants of the United States are notorious for it. It accompanies the bad custom of smoking or chewing tobacco...that anyone should allow such a habit to grow upon them is very surprising".
How to Behave. 1853

"I remarked one young man, whose handsome person, and most elaborate toilet, led me to conclude he was a first rate personage, and so I doubt not he was; nevertheless, I saw him take from the pocket of his silk waistcoat a lump of tobacco, and daintily deposit it within his cheek".
Domestic Manners of the Americans, Fanny Trollope, 1832

"Doctor,"said an old gentleman, who was an inveterate snuff-taker, to a physician, "is it true that snuff destroys the olfactory nerves, clogs and otherwise injures the brain?". "It cannot be true" was the caustic reply, "since those who have any brains never take snuff at all".
Hints on Etiquette, 1836

"Few women understand, at the outset, that in marrying, they have simply captured a wild animal, and staked their chances for future happiness on their ability to tame him. He is beautiful physically very likely, of pleasing manners and many external graces, and often possessed of noble qualities of mind and heart; but at the core of his nature he cherishes still his original savagery, the taming of which is to be the life work of the woman who has taken him in charge."
Letters from a Chimney Corner, 1886

Photographs of Men 1850s & 1860s.

This is a collection of images of men from the mid 19th Century.

Photographs of Men 1870s & 1880s.

A collection of images of men from the 3rd Quarter of the 19th Century.

Photographs of Men from the Turn of the 20th Century

Images of men from the end of the 19th and the beginning of the 20th Century.

Photographs of Men from the teens and 1920s.

Images of men dating from around 1910 to the end of the 1920s.

Hotels and Boarding Houses

"The American Inn... is altogether an institution apart, a thing of itself. Hotels in America are very much larger and more numerous than in other countries. They are to be found in all towns, and I may almost say in all villages...In the States of America the first sign of an incipient settlement is an hotel five stories high, with an office, a bar, a cloak room, three gentlemen's parlours, two ladies' parlours, a ladies' entrance, and two hundred bedrooms".
Anthony Trollope, North America, 1863

"You enter the hotel and silently sign your name in the guest book. Next to your name they silently write the number of the room you will occupy, and silently hand the key to a Negro. He by innate talkativeness interrupts the silence, takes the traveling bags and guides you to the assigned room"
Aleksadandr Borisovich Lakier, 1857

"One is in a free country, yet in an American inn, one can never do as one likes. A terrific gong sounds early in the morning, breaking one's sweet slumbers, and then a second gong sounding some thirty minutes later, makes you understand that you must proceed to breakfast, whether you be dressed or no. You certainly can go on with your toilet and obtain your meal after half an hour's delay. Nobody actually scolds you you for so doing, but the breakfast is, as they say in this country, 'through'. They begrudge you no amount that you can eat or drink; but they begrudge you a single moment that you sit neither eating nor drinking. This is your fate if you're too late, and therefore as a general rule you are not late."
Anthony Trollope, North America, 1863