Feed aggregator
China launches mission to retrieve asteroid samples
Video shows the moment China launched its first mission to collect asteroid samples, aiming to become the third country
Categories: South Asia
Thunder-Timberwolves: OKC defeat Minnesota in Game 5 to reach NBA Finals
Oklahoma City Thunder closed out the Minnesota Timberwolves in Game 5 and advanced to their first NBA Finals since 2012.
Categories: South Asia
Video: Israeli attack in Yemen destroys airline’s ‘last plane’
An Israeli attack on Sanaa airport has destroyed the last passenger plane operated by the country’s main airline.
Categories: South Asia
US trade court rules Trump’s sweeping global tariffs are unlawful
Panel of judges finds Trump overstepped authority by imposing across-the-board duties on imports from trade partners.
Categories: South Asia
Jeremy Corbyn on Gaza and Britain’s Imperial Legacy
In this episode of Centre Stage, our guest is Jeremy Corbyn.
Categories: South Asia
Acclaimed Kenyan writer and dissident, Ngugi wa Thiong’o, dies at 87
Ngugi's work critiqued both British colonialism in Kenya and postcolonial Kenyan society.
Categories: South Asia
Cambodia PM urges calm after border clash with Thailand leaves soldier dead
Cambodian and Thai officials claim troops from other side opened fire first in latest deadly border clash.
Categories: South Asia
How are Yemen’s Houthis still standing?
@AlexGatopoulos looks at the Houthi movement and its ability to still strike Israel, despite attempts to destroy it
Categories: South Asia
Pakistan pitches ‘responsible’ image as diplomatic war with India heats up
India and Pakistan have shifted from armed confrontation to a diplomatic offensive, seeking to shape global opinion.
Categories: South Asia
Iraq’s Invisible Beauty: Through Latif al-Ani’s Lens
Iconic photographer Latif al-Ani travels across Iraq to find the people and places he took photos of before the wars.
Categories: South Asia
Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 1,190
These are the key events on day 1,190 of Russia’s war on Ukraine.
Categories: South Asia
Methamphetamine trafficking surges from ‘Golden Triangle’ region
UN Office on Drugs and Crime says 'explosive growth' in synthetic drug trade led to record regional seizures in 2024.
Categories: South Asia
China launches landmark mission to retrieve pristine asteroid samples
Chinese state media says the mission aims 'to shed light on the formation and evolution of asteroids' and the Earth.
Categories: South Asia
Elon Musk announces departure from US President Trump’s administration
Musk announced the news on X, where he declared his controversial government cost-cutting measures a victory.
Categories: South Asia
‘Not aid, but humiliation’: A desperate search for food in Gaza
Palestinians in Gaza recount journeys to Gaza Humanitarian Foundation aid distribution sites, as starvation looms.
Categories: South Asia
Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science’
The thorny question of whether or not the UK government was really following the science has been solved by this year’s Nobel Laureates.
Johnson and Hancock’s valuable research over the last 18 months hypothesised what would happen if senior members of a government told everyone they were following the science but, in fact, were ‘not following the science at all.’
A spokesperson for the Nobel medicine Committee said the UK team’s ‘doing the exact opposite’ research project allowed us to make sense for the first time the government thinking behind such policies as:
– The ‘delay in taking any action whatsoever’ strategy
– The ‘not stopping flights coming to the UK from Wuhan until the day before the Chinese locked down the city; strategy
– The ‘Boris Johnson still shaking hands despite warnings from the Spi-behavioural group’ strategy
– The ‘let’s go for herd immunity’ strategy
– The ‘don’t bother with facemasks’ strategy
– The ‘we’re not listening to the WHO’ strategy
– The ;send PPE to China even though we might need it’ strategy
– The ‘abandoning the idea of a circuit-break lockdown’ strategy
– The ‘let massive sporting events with massive crowds go ahead’ strategy
The spokesperson also praised the Johnson & Hancock team for investigating what caused some cabinet ministers such as Rishi Sunak to go completely rogue, although they didn’t have time to come to any firm conclusions. He set up his EAT OUT TO HELP OUT strategy without asking any scientists or any advice whatsoever.
‘This is understandable as it would have detracted from the already excellent hypothesis that the team had on their main subject’, said the spokseperson. ‘However, they’ve not ruled out further explorations into the ‘I’m a minister, I’ll do what I f*cking well want if it means getting the cash tills of business ringing,’ strategy.’
Categories: Fake News
Fears for life expectancy in Scotland triggered by Scottish Widows getting so much younger
Population forecasters are tinkling in their tighty whities. The clearest indication yet that life expectancy in Scotland is plummeting has sent shockwaves through the back of a fag packet totter community.
Experts in looking at women and assessing their relative ages examined Scottish Widows adverts over the past few decades and have declared that they are definitely getting younger. Professor Iain James explained, ‘We went back all of the way to the the 1980s and had a stab at guessing the ages of each Scottish Widow smirking knowingly in her black hooded cape.
‘What we found was shocking. Firstly, there was not one wrinkly old Scottish Widow with missing teeth in her 70s. There was one who might have been in her late forties, but her skin was as smooth as a plump haggis and her perfect white teeth glistened in the Glasgow rain.
‘But I’m afraid it gets much sexier. You can see that every few years each one is replaced with a younger model: Early forties; then late thirties; and by the 2010s she is early thirties, tops.
‘In the latest Scottish Widows advert she looks about 23. That can’t mean anything else other than the men they were married to are dying much, much younger than we had previously dared consider.
‘At these rates, we estimate the population of Scotland will be -17 in 2041.’
Categories: Fake News
Random story generator deployed at The Sun
It has long been suspected that articles at tabloid papers have been cobbled together by interns with a drink problem. But the reality is far worse. Anonymous sources have received a copy of a crib sheet that sub-editors can use to churn out stories on demand by simply highlighting options with a yellow marker pen. You too can become a Sun journalist for a day. Here is the current crib sheet for Tuesdays:
A three bedroom house in [Powys / Nottingham / Middlesborough] could be bought for a little as [£32000 / £33000 / £34000] – but there’s a chilling secret.
Its close proximity to [a rubbish dump / foreign undesirables / outside privy] means [there are more rats than cats / the air is filled with the smell of bad food / the garden is full of shit].
[Stacey Simpson / Keeley Stevens / Olivia Hardwick], 29, condemned prospective purchasers by setting their ambitions too low. The [hairdresser / TikTok influencer / nail bar assistant] from Harpenden managed to pay off her £450,000 mortgage two years ago by working [three jobs / as a Cam Girl / the streets], and has little respect for scroungers who want to slum it at the bottom end of the housing market. Boyfriend and window fitter Darren agrees and says “I’d rather vote Labour than live in a shit-hole like that. These people need to find some [self-respect / old dear to fleece / mastic] and start voting for Boris.â€
We asked former editor Kelvin McKenzie to comment on the crib sheet, but he simply referred us to Carol Vorderman who [sent us a smouldering selfie / revealed her plunging cleavage / delights her fans with her amazing youthful figure] and told us to behave and watch out for her every Friday.
Categories: Fake News
