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Video shows Israeli destruction of Gaza’s Rafah crossing
Local tourist killed in Pakistan’s Swat over blasphemy allegations
UK general election 2024: What are the key issues shaping the vote?
Niger revokes French nuclear group’s licence at major uranium mine
Thousands across the world participate in International Yoga Day
At least 200 injured, 100 arrested in Kenya tax protests: Rights groups
At least 11 killed in southeast Turkey wildfires
Is Burkina Faso on the cusp of another coup?
Childhood trauma damages society – why aren’t our leaders recognising it?
Fragments of Gaza: My journey of memory and loss
South Korea fires warning shots as North Korean soldiers cross border again
Millions of students at risk: India’s elite exams hit by corruption ‘scam’
Japan sanctions China-based firms accused of supporting war in Ukraine
Once the pride of Hong Kong, Cathay Pacific becomes government’s punchbag
Donald Sutherland, whose career spanned MASH to Hunger Games, dies aged 88
Paul C. Warnke Lecture on International Security: Turning Point—The Bomb and The Cold War
Trump says he would give green cards to foreign graduates of US colleges
Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 847
Young men trapped between war and conscription in Myanmar’s Rakhine
Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science’
The thorny question of whether or not the UK government was really following the science has been solved by this year’s Nobel Laureates.
Johnson and Hancock’s valuable research over the last 18 months hypothesised what would happen if senior members of a government told everyone they were following the science but, in fact, were ‘not following the science at all.’
A spokesperson for the Nobel medicine Committee said the UK team’s ‘doing the exact opposite’ research project allowed us to make sense for the first time the government thinking behind such policies as:
– The ‘delay in taking any action whatsoever’ strategy
– The ‘not stopping flights coming to the UK from Wuhan until the day before the Chinese locked down the city; strategy
– The ‘Boris Johnson still shaking hands despite warnings from the Spi-behavioural group’ strategy
– The ‘let’s go for herd immunity’ strategy
– The ‘don’t bother with facemasks’ strategy
– The ‘we’re not listening to the WHO’ strategy
– The ;send PPE to China even though we might need it’ strategy
– The ‘abandoning the idea of a circuit-break lockdown’ strategy
– The ‘let massive sporting events with massive crowds go ahead’ strategy
The spokesperson also praised the Johnson & Hancock team for investigating what caused some cabinet ministers such as Rishi Sunak to go completely rogue, although they didn’t have time to come to any firm conclusions. He set up his EAT OUT TO HELP OUT strategy without asking any scientists or any advice whatsoever.
‘This is understandable as it would have detracted from the already excellent hypothesis that the team had on their main subject’, said the spokseperson. ‘However, they’ve not ruled out further explorations into the ‘I’m a minister, I’ll do what I f*cking well want if it means getting the cash tills of business ringing,’ strategy.’